Belly pic...

Okay, you're not getting the full picture because it's just not pretty, but I thought I'd post my 28 week belly shot. I've noticed a huge change this past week. I'm up about 8 pounds right now, which I'm trying to be okay with. I don't do well with change!

I'm SO DONE with maternity clothes though!

A night from you know where...

It started yesterday evening. The kids had "Parents Night Out" where they went and watched movies, played games, did art and had pizza from 6pm to 10pm. I decided to drive to Nashville and hit up the Carter's outlet as I got an email saying they were having a clearance sale. I drive off to Nashville and notice traffic is crazy, but figure that on my way back it should be cleared up. The trip to Carter's was uneventful (only spent $17 as they didn't have much as far as clearance). I shopped around a bit more, got the boys some pants at Children's Place for $4.99 (can't beat that). At 8:30 I decided I better head back. It's normally about a 45 minute drive. It took me the entire 1 1/2 hours to get back because traffic was STOPPED...no reason, just stopped. UGH!
So I pick up the kids, get home, get them in bed, and they all start coughing and saying they didn't feel good. I got Matthew to use his inhaler (the worst cougher of the 3), but within 30 minutes he was throwing up from coughing so much. I let him lay with me (after throwing up in his bed). He keeps coughing, and throwing up, and coughing. By midnight he finally fell asleep and then it was time for the cat and dog to act up. The cat kept thinking she wanted in the bedroom...meowing at the bedroom door. I let her in, and she gets on top of the dresser and starts knocking things off. I chuck her out. The dog wouldn't settle down for some reason. Usually she's so good about going to sleep. I kick her out too, but hear here pacing at the bedroom door. Finally about 3 am Matthew kicks me in the back, wakes me up, and I hear the dog whining. I go downstairs, let the dog out. Wait....let the dog back in. She's still acting funny....go back to bed, chase the cat out from the bedroom. Climb in...cat meows...I try to ignore her. That works until about 4 am. I get up, let the cat back in the bedroom and she thinks my shoulder would be a great place to sleep. Whatever! By this point I was getting pretty cranky. I doze until about 6 am when the dog starts whining again...this is NOT typical for her, so I figure she must need to go out. I go downstairs, let her out...wait....wait...wait...let her back in and she wants to go back out immediately. Still don't know what's up with the dog.

By this point my night is shot. The sun is starting to come up. I decide to get some breakfast, make myself some coffee and wait for the kids to get up...and wait...It's 9am and they kids are STILL asleep...they never do this on a Saturday when I want to sleep in.

I guess I better get used to it. I'm sure there are going to be many sleepless nights once Zachary is born.

It's going to be a long day.

28 weeks...

When you get to this point you start dreaming about being done. I get offended when I tell people April and their response is "Oh, you still have a ways to go then." I want to yell NO I DON'T! I'm almost there, even though I know I'm not!
I forgot how painful pregnancy is. It's a joy, but at the same time the pain can be pretty rough at times. It's all worth it, I keep telling myself. His kicks are starting to hurt at times too, which I think is pretty funny. Matthew loves feeling my belly, kissing my belly, saying hi to the baby. Megan really could care less, even though she and Ben can't help commenting on every baby they see! Megan still is NOT happy that the baby isn't a girl, and keeps asking if I can try just one more time....NO WAY! If I could guarantee it was a girl I MIGHT consider it, but there is no way I'm going to chance putting my body through this again!
My next goal is 32 weeks. Obviously 40 is end goal (actually 39 because that's when I should have him), but I make mini goals! It makes the time go by faster.

newest calculations

THESE WERE MY CALCULATIONS AT 7 WEEKS PREGNANT...
After this class I will have 4 more classes to take until my due date (maybe 3 if I switch to 2 weeks between classes instead of 1).
I will change the catbox about 66 more times until the baby is born.
I will fill the gas tank 33 more times.
I will have 231 more breakfasts
There are only 33 more Saturday's until I am due.
I will brush my teeth approx. 462 more times before the baby is due.
I will let the dog out approx. 1,386 more times before the baby is born.
There are only 14 more paychecks until the baby is born.
There are 330 more episodes of Little House on the Prarie before the baby is born.
There are 6 months and 18 days, or 33 weeks, or 231 days, or 5,544 hours, or 332,640 minutes, or 19,958,400 seconds until the baby is due.

NOW!!
I have 2 more classes until my due date.
I will change the cat box about 16 more times
I will have 83 more breakfasts
I will fill the gas tank 11 more times
There are only 11 more Saturday's
I will brush my teeth approx. 166 more times
I will let the dog out approx 415 more times (we've cut it down to about 5 times per day!)
There are only 7 more paychecks
I don't watch Little House on the Prarie anymore!
There are 2 months, 22 days, or 11 weeks, or 83 days or 1992 hours, or well...you get the point!

Oh, I adjusted my calculations on the fact that I will be delivering before April 22nd...I used April 16th instead.

27 weeks!

It's hard to believe, isn't it?
27 beautiful weeks. I am feeling better emotionally. I really need to keep realistic expectations, and realize that I am raising 3 kids while being 6 1/2 months pregnant AND not having a husband and all that means.
Physically I hurt. I don't sleep well because turning hurts so much. My patience is non-existant, though, which makes for a mentally exhausting day.
I had a weird dream last night about going into labor (actually, not going into labor but having my doctor try and talk me into another c-section). I really don't want another c-section if I can avoid it because Jeff only has 2 weeks of leave. I don't think I can recover enough in 2 weeks after a c-section. That and I REALLY don't want to go under the knife again. It was miserable both that I had.
I do, though, have a doctor who supports me at least trying labor IF I am a favorable. I guess that stresses me out because all my kids had to be evicted. They like it a bit too much in there I guess.
Ugh. I can't believe I'm stressing about that already.

The newest cravings...

Peanut butter on a toasted English Muffin with chunks of cheddar cheese on the side.
Grilled chicken with broccoli, tomatoes, onions and mushrooms, topped with Classico's red pepper alfredo sauce.
Sprite Zero
Facebook!

Okay, well, obviously not all of it is food!
I'm feeling a bit frustrated with myself. I don't know if it's just pregnancy hormones or if it's something else. I feel highly unmotivated and then frustrated when I don't get anything done. I feel like a bad mommy and wonder what I'm doing having another child when I cannot handle the 3 I have. I wonder if my life will ever consist of anything other than being a mommy. I feel guilty for spending time on myself when there are dishes in the sink and laundry to be done.
I compare myself to others constantly and look at their lives to measure the success, or lack thereof, of my own.
I miss my husband.
I yell too much.
I waste way too much time on trivial things (like this blog and facebook and email and everything else) but don't have the energy for the things that "should" be done.
I'm disappointed with myself that I cannot force myself to do the things that "should" be done...there are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and put away, floors that could be mopped or vacuumed, yet here I sit.
I'm embarrassed to say I'm not looking forward to the kids being out of school for 3 days, and even more disappointed with myself that I just don't have it in me to homeschool them.
Again, I wonder what God has in store for me, having a 4th child.
I'm thrilled beyond words about this new little life, but terrifed I can't pull it together enough and will ruin him forever.
I blame myself for my children's problems...thinking if I had it together myself maybe they could be secure and happy.

My newest craving...for peace

99 more days!

Double digits!
99 more days...actually a bit less because the doctor informed me that she likes to deliver diabetic moms between 39 and 40 weeks...no chance of going overdue...THANK GOODNESS!

26 weeks...14 more to go.

Nothing really else is happening. My blood pressure is a tad high, but nothing concerning yet. I gained some weight (not saying how much) thanks to Christmas. Other than that, no other visits till February 11th.

25 weeks!

Sorry for the delay in posting. It's hard to believe it's been 3 weeks already! 25 weeks now, and chance of survival if born now is 50-80%. That just blows me away.

He's still movin' and grovin'. Last night I found his heartbeat way down low, and this morning it was back up by my belly button. He must have flipped some time during the night. Hopefully he'll settle into a good position soon so we don't have to worry about him being breech.

Jeff comes home in just 14 weeks now. I'm hoping little one cooperates this time, unlike the last 3 who had to be evicted. I still havn't figured out what I'll do with the other kids if I go into labor. That has me a bit concerned. But I'm sure people would pull through if need be.

Next week marks the 3rd trimster. I'm hoping it goes by quickly as I've had a lot of pain and it's getting increasingly difficult to walk. I don't look as pregnant as I feel, and get odd looks when I choose to use the motorized cart at Wal-mart. I just stick my belly out so I look more pregnant!

Until next week!