Peanut butter on a toasted English Muffin with chunks of cheddar cheese on the side.
Grilled chicken with broccoli, tomatoes, onions and mushrooms, topped with Classico's red pepper alfredo sauce.
Sprite Zero
Facebook!
Okay, well, obviously not all of it is food!
I'm feeling a bit frustrated with myself. I don't know if it's just pregnancy hormones or if it's something else. I feel highly unmotivated and then frustrated when I don't get anything done. I feel like a bad mommy and wonder what I'm doing having another child when I cannot handle the 3 I have. I wonder if my life will ever consist of anything other than being a mommy. I feel guilty for spending time on myself when there are dishes in the sink and laundry to be done.
I compare myself to others constantly and look at their lives to measure the success, or lack thereof, of my own.
I miss my husband.
I yell too much.
I waste way too much time on trivial things (like this blog and facebook and email and everything else) but don't have the energy for the things that "should" be done.
I'm disappointed with myself that I cannot force myself to do the things that "should" be done...there are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and put away, floors that could be mopped or vacuumed, yet here I sit.
I'm embarrassed to say I'm not looking forward to the kids being out of school for 3 days, and even more disappointed with myself that I just don't have it in me to homeschool them.
Again, I wonder what God has in store for me, having a 4th child.
I'm thrilled beyond words about this new little life, but terrifed I can't pull it together enough and will ruin him forever.
I blame myself for my children's problems...thinking if I had it together myself maybe they could be secure and happy.
My newest craving...for peace
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