22 Weeks

I didn't post last week because I posted the pictures the previous day. I figured that was good enough.
A pretty uneventful week. I have resorted to using the motorized carts when shopping at Wal-mart and such. If I have more than just one stop to make I am unable to finish my errands after walking around for an extended period of time. My hips just give out and I look like a duck out of water...waddling. It's not very pretty, and quite painful. I had the same condition with Ben and ended up on bedrest, so I am trying to prevent that from happening this time.
I go to the doctor Thursday to get permission to travel over the holidays. I'll probably have my insulin increased at that time as my sugar levels have been wacky. I think the baby is going through a growth spurt because I've been very hungry the last 2 days.
I may not post next week as I am unsure as to what kind of internet connection I will have, but regardless I hope everyone has a happy and safe Christmas with the ones you love!

Pictures

Half Way Mark!!!

Okay, here is my 20 week belly shot. Don't laugh.
It's hard to believe I've hit 20 weeks! Still only halfway there though! Now the fun begins! Zachary has been doing what Jeff terms Zach Attack! He is kicking and moving like crazy. Sometimes it even hurts! He weighs about 10 oz now and is about 10 inches long. I have our "big" ultrasound on December 11th.
No weight gain yet, but I'm sure that's to come. For now I'm maintaining, which is sometimes harder than it sounds! No crazy cravings. The tomato craving is finally over, as is the squash craving. Hopefully my next craving will be as healthy as the first two!
Here's to another 20 ( hopefully 19) uneventful weeks!

19 weeks

Okay, I know I didn't post yesterday, but now I'm glad I didn't.

Last night while lying in bed, I felt a full fledged kick! It was so exciting...made my night! I had my hand resting on my belly and BAM!

What a great feeling (at least for now!).

150 days

150 days left! I just thought I would post on this wonderful occassion. It's hard to believe isn't it? I'll be even more excited when I'm under 100 days. Still a little over a week until the half way mark.

18 weeks

Gee...this week seemed long. You know how several months before your birthday you keep saying you're "almost" the next year older. Well this week it seems like I've been almost 18 weeks the whole week! I keep thinking I'm 19 weeks, but no, just 18 weeks.
I've decided to boycot Target and Amazon.com. Both sites have ripped me off this week. Both listed items for WAY lower than regular price, but then all the sudden they canceled the orders because of "pricing errors." Uh...that's your fault, not mine! So two great deals I thought I was getting I'm not getting at all. That's okay...shouldn't have tried to spend money anyway!
Not much new this week as you can tell. Counting down till 24 weeks...the edge of viability where he's got a chance of surviving if born. I'll feel better at 32 weeks though, which is still 14 weeks away.

Happy Birthday to me...

How come I don't feel like celebrating. Nothing seems right this year, except for this little one growing inside of me.
I just want my husband home.
I just want my kids to stop arguing...even if for one day...one hour would even be fine.
I don't want gifts. I don't want recognition...I just want those two things...
I'm feeling sorry for myself, and seriously hoping no one reads this blog today.

17 weeks

It really doesn't get any easier, at least the worrying anyway. Everyone knows someone who lost a baby, whether early on, later on, or after birth. The concern is always there, in the back of your head. It's not something you actually WANT to think about, but it creeps up every so often when you hear one of those stories.
I'm not thinking about it! I've made it 17 weeks, which is amazing. Only 7 more weeks before we reach the edge of viability where the baby has a chance (ever so slim chance) of survival.
It's been a quiet week. I finally have an appointment with a dietician tomorrow with hopes of controlling my glucose level better with less insulin. I really hope to not take insulin after the pregnancy.
Jeff is safe in Afghanistan. He's working night shift right now, which is tough. He said he just got used to jet lag and now he's working nights...poor guy.
Till next week.

16 week doctor's appointment

Gee...I'm beginning to think my wonderful doctor isn't so wonderful after all.She asks me about my sugar level and I tell her that I've increased my dosage. I ask her if she thinks I should meet with a dietician to try and control it through diet (duh) and she says that maybe that would be a good idea. I tell her the pharmacy only gave me enough test strips for twice a day instead of the five times a day she wants. She said to talk to the pharmacy about it.Next she tries to find the babie's heartbeat. She's trying by my belly button. I show her the exact spot to look, but she keeps looking everywhere else. Finally she tries the spot I tell her to and there is baby.She asks me if I want the AFP, and I decline. I ask her if I should have my thyroid rechecked as my level was off and my dose had to be adjusted 6 weeks ago. She said...ok.I ask her if there's any other testing I need for 16 weeks and she said no, I'll see you in a month.So I go to the lab, get my bloodwork done and then remember...shouldn't she have mentioned my 20 week ultrasound. I stop by radiology on the off chance she put it in...no, so I go back to OB and tell the front desk that she forgot to order my 20 week ultrasound. She said "what do you want me to do about it? Tell her at your next appointment." I tell her my next appointment is at 20 weeks and the ultrasound clinic told me they're runnign 6 weeks out for ultrasound appointments. She said "so do you want me to call your doctor or something?" I said, yeah something like that. So I sit in the waiting room while she goes and tells the doctor. She comes back and tells me that she'll put it in but it will be awhile because she's with a patient.So I go down to the pharmacy. It's a military pharmacy so you pick a number and wait. I wait 20 minutes and get to the counter and try and explain that they only gave me a 30 day supply but the box says 90 day supply. She hands me two more boxes and it says 90 day supply. I tell her I'm supposed to test 5 times a day and she tells me that the doctor will have to specify that in the order and that the doctor should know that....So then I go back up to radiology and am told to pick a number and have a seat. The girl at the desk is making an appointment for another hospital employee. They're joking around, looking at pictures, etc. Finally the girl is done and I think it will be my turn...NO, the girl gets up and leaves...5 mintues later she comes back, sits down and starts talking politics with the other girl at the desk. I wait 15 more minutes as more people come in and take numbers and sit down. Finally another person got up and said she needed to make an appointment and she started making her appointment for her...I told her that I was next and she said "oh, I forgot you were sitting there. I didn't know we had anybody waiting." HELLO you just told 5 people to take a number and sit down, yet you didn't know you had anyone waiting. I was furious by this point. I had been at the hospital 2 hours. The lady said "well don't take your anger out on me!" ARGH!!!Finally I left, the kids were to get off the bus any minute and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast so my sugar level was crashing.I finally got my ultrasound appointment for December 11th. I couldn't make my next appointment with the OB because their schedule isn't out for December yet???I HATE this hospital with a passion, but unfortunately you can't go off base. If you made it this far, bless your soul!!

15 weeks

Totally wild...15 weeks down, 25 to go. It's been a good week. Baby Zachary is no longer "the baby." I'm pretty sure I'm feeling movement, which for now is amazing (I'm sure I'll change my tune when he keeps putting his foot in my ribs). Jeff is still home (new date to leave is Friday, but that could change). I've been battling a head cold, but am finally feeling better. It's getting cold outside too, so fall is finally here. It's hard to believe that Thanskgiving is only a month away. Of course no store is letting us forget that Christmas is around the corner! I can't wait for the holidays to be over with, just for the sake that it will be 2009, the year my baby will be born!

It's a......

Boy!!
Okay, I admit, I'm a bit disappointed, but after some therapy (shopping for baby boy clothes), I feel a bit better.She was 100% sure she said. I've attached some pictures for your viewing pleasure! :inlove: So, Zachary Michael is on his way!

14 weeks!

Not much has changed since last week. My next OB appointment isn't until November 4th. I do go on Monday for an ultrasound to hopefully determine if little one is a boy or girl. Jeff leaves in a week.
I'm still SO tired. By 4pm I feel like a walking zombie, even if I've done nothing all day. This makes it hard on the kids because that's when they're getting home from school and need me the most. By the time bedtime comes around I can't wait for them to go to sleep!

I'll post on Monday if we find out what we're having. I'm hoping Pink, but Blue will be fine too.

HELLO 2ND TRIMESTER!!

YEAH! 13 weeks today. It's hard to believe. I have a feeling the next 13 weeks will go by quickly, and the last 13 will be the longest!
Most days I still don't FEEL pregnant, although I'm starting to look it depending on what I wear. I'm definitely wearing maternity pants, but mostly I'm stuck in shirts that either look too small or too big. Got to love that in-between stage!
Jeff leaves in 2 weeks...ugh...We've been trying to get things straight before he leaves. We have a running to-do list, and are slowly chipping away at that.
Hopefully I'll find out in 2 weeks what the little bean is. I'll be 15 weeks on the day he leaves, and supposedly I can find out then.

update on test results

I called today and they told me the blood test was negative, and that everything looked good. Relief doesn't describe it enough. It's not that we would have done anything had we gotten a different answer, but knowing that everything is PROBABLY okay definite makes me sigh a huge sigh of relief.

12 week NT scan and picture

The scan went well and the measurements were right where they needed to be. The test also includes a blood test to calculate the complete risk. Those results will be back on Monday.
Baby wasn't too cooperative so it took quite a while to get the measurements. A bunch of poking, prodding, jumping up and down and wiggling made baby move some. By the end he/she was pretty ticked off!

12 weeks today

Today I'm 12 weeks. I had a regular OB appointment that was pretty uneventful. We discussed trying a VBAC seeing I've already had 2 c-sections. She seemed open to the idea of trying, or at least didn't completly refuse, which is good. I feel relieved seeing my last c-section (actually both) were so tramatic. Obviously if there was a medical reason I'd consent to a c-section, but I still have pain at the incision site from my last c-section, and believe there's some PTSD along with it. I literally freeze at the thought of another one.

Tomorrow is my repeat NT scan seeing last week's was a bust. I'm praying for good news, and would appreciate all the prayers anyone can spare.

200 days

I have 200 days left. That sounds like an extremely long amount of time.
Ugh.

11 weeks

So 11 weeks. Nothing new to report as of today. Wednesday is my nuchal translucency scan. Hopefully I'll have a new picture to post.
There's debate about when the 2nd trimester starts. Some say 12 weeks, some say 13, and others say 14 weeks. I think I'll go with 12!
Anyway, one more week then until the 2nd trimester. I'd say time is flying but it does seem like it's been FOREVER!

Heartbeat

A few weeks ago I invested in a fetal heartrate doppler, similar to the kind doctors use but just not as expensive. Anyway, I have tried about a half dozen times to find the heartbeat but could only pick up mine. I didn't freak out as I promised myself I wouldn't. I'm still rather early and because I'm a little thicker in the belly than some I figured it might be harder.
Today I finally heard the baby's heartbeat! About 160 bpm! I was just about to give up for the time and then I heard the beautiful sound! It sounds nothing like mine...much faster, similar to the sound of a galloping horse.
I only listened for about 20 seconds. Something about hearing that sound made me not want to intrude for much longer!
Such an amazing experience!

crib and dresser

Well with Jeff deploying in a few weeks we decided we better go ahead and get the furniture as there is no way I could get it up the stairs and put together by myself. I'm sure we could have scrounged SOMEONE up, but this way Jeff gets to be part of it.
We picked out a cherry colored crib and dresser. We got rid of the crib we used for the other 3 while we were in Germany, thinking we were done. We got rid of everything for that matter! It feels odd starting over from scratch.
One thing that worries me a bit is all the recent recalls. This is something OUR parents didn't have to worry about, and more often than not it's a matter of a company being pro-active in protecting young children, which isn't a bad thing. Our crib is from a maker that recently had several recalls. Their cribs that has the drop side (the side that goes up and down) could potentially drop and hurt a child. So they recalled all their drop-side cribs. Our's doesn't have a drop side, which might be annoying in the beginning, but better safe than sorry.
Did you know you're not supposed to use bumper pads any more? With Matthew I just weaved the bumper pad around the posts to make sure it was tight. Again, most of this is due to cautious parents rather than a lot of accidents, although there are some accidents of babies getting caught in the bumpers and suffocating.
I'm a little over cautious when it comes to the crib mattress. I read a study years ago that showed a dramatic increase in SIDS if you use a used crib mattress (something about the crib releasing toxic chemicals used in the fire retardant, and those chemicals being released more easily with repetitive use). It's one of those things that, if for $50 I can buy a bit of piece of mind, then I'm going to do.
I do remember with Matthew calling the car seat manufacturer because the car seat straps would pop out...scary if we had ever been in an accident. Or the time when Matthew was in his carseat and the shopping cart hit a bump in Wal-mart's parking lot and his seat shot off and landed face first in the middle of the road...scary. I didn't know NOT to put the seat in that part of the shopping cart. I do now...
Now we have to worry about BPA in baby bottles (well I won't have to worry TOO much about it), lead paint in baby toys or toxic chemicals in baby formula (see China's headlines).
What did our parents do? How did we all survive without serious harm? Life was much simpler then. They made their own baby food. My grandmother made her own formula.
I tell you, organic may be the way to go in a lot of ways (although the thought of using cloth diapers makes me want to hurl!).
So a bunch of nothing post, but a post nonetheless.

10 weeks today!!

25 percent done!
Today marks 10 weeks! I'm starting to feel cautiously optimistic, although I'm not completely free from the anxiety that something can go wrong. With the first pregnacy I was shamefully unaware of what was going on with my body. I just enjoyed the pregnancy and thought nothing of what could go wrong (in those early days). Now that I'm "advanced maternal age" there seems to be a much larger range of testing that is offered to make sure nothing is wrong, not that I would change anything if it WAS wrong, but somehow knowing that nothing is or isn't wrong helps.
The first of such tests is scheduled for next Wednesday. It is called the Nuchal Translucency Scan. They do an ultrasound and measure the translucent space between the baby's brain and the back of the neck. Depending on the thickness, it can help determine if your baby is at greater risk for Down's Syndrome. My current risk just based on my age is 1 in 350. That means 1 baby in 350 has Down's Syndrome. If this test is clear we will more than likely bypass the amniocentesis unless the "big" ultrasound at 18 weeks tells us otherwise.
So I'll keep everyone posted. Other than that things are just going along. Jeff got a date for deployment which is earlier than hoped for (can't post it here). He'll be missing my youngest's birthday if that gives those who know when that is any clue!

9 weeks

9 weeks...only 217 more days to go! Gee that sounds like FOREVER!

I feel okay, although I'm definitely more cranky than usual, if you can imagine. Jeff's coming around a bit more, fortunately. We had our pre-deployment brief tonight which SUCKS talking about notifications of death, insurance and that kind of thing. Right now we're looking at November as when he'll leave...somewhere around then.

4 more weeks until I'm in my 2nd trimester...YEAH!

8 weeks

Tomorrow marks 8 weeks. I had my second doctor's appointment today. It was the OB physical appointment. I also got another ultrasound showing the baby growing nicely and a nice heartbeat! I was so relieved! No picture this time as we couldn't get a great shot due to my uterus being tipped forward (also explains why I am showing already).
I also started long-acting insulin in addition to the short acting. Hopefully it will keep my afternoon levels under control.

So a good appointment. I don't go back till October 7th.

My car seat/stroller are coming in today

Where is that FedEx guy!

Okay, I know what you're thinking...buying stuff already? Well with three previous pregnancies I know what I definitely need, and even though it's not much, a car seat is definitely one I need. I had someone offer me theirs, but it was already 3rd generation hand-me-down, and I don't really feel comfortable with that. Anyway, thanks to an AMAZING sale and a 20% on-line coupon I got this for MUCH, MUCH, MUCH cheaper than what is shown on the website. AND if something, God forbid, happened I could sell it very easily for almost twice what I paid for it.

Anyway, it's rated the number 1 safest car seat AND it fits babies up to 30 pounds, so we should be able to use it for way longer than usual car seats (usually rated to 22 pounds).

I also went to the thrift store on post today and got 4 shirts, a pair of pants and 3 neutral baby sleepers for under $20. Not bad!

The strange stuff you think about...

So today I bought laundry fabric softener. I didn't think much about it. I grabbed the big bottle because it was on sale. It said it contained enough for 78 loads. That got me thinking....
I average about 6 loads a week. That means it would be 13 weeks of laundry. That means I will be almost 20 weeks when the fabric softener runs out.
I told you it was strange!

Other calculations....After this class I will have 4 more classes to take until my due date (maybe 3 if I switch to 2 weeks between classes instead of 1).

I will change the catbox about 66 more times until the baby is born.
I will fill the gas tank 33 more times.
I will have 231 more breakfasts
There are only 33 more Saturday's until I am due.
I will brush my teeth approx. 462 more times before the baby is due.
I will let the dog out approx. 1,386 more times before the baby is born.
There are only 14 more paychecks until the baby is born.
There are 330 more episodes of Little House on the Prarie before the baby is born.

There are 6 months and 18 days, or 33 weeks, or 231 days, or 5,544 hours, or 332,640 minutes, or 19,958,400 seconds until the baby is due.

Okay, that is fun! Any others I didn't think of? I'm sure there are!

Baby's first picture!

7 weeks today!

7 weeks down, 33 to go...wow. That sounds like a long time. It IS a long time, but in the total picture I guess it isn't!
Last week was pretty rough with morning/evening sickness. I'm starting to feel better now in the morning. It's just evening that is rough.
We got our first picture this week! I'll post that if I can figure out how. I also got to see the heart beat, which is amazing seeing the baby is a about the size of a small blueberry.
I also started insulin this week, which isn't nearly as bad as I thought. I don't even feel the needle.
I love the whole idea about being pregnant, but it is rather nerve wracking seeing everything that can go wrong. Once I can feel the baby I think I'll feel better, of course I said that after I knew there was a heart beat I'd feel better! I guess I'll feel better once the baby is born, but of course then that's just a whole nother set of unknowns!
The kids are excited. Jeff is still taking some time coming around. He'll figure it out though. Hopefully!
Take care all!

The good, the bad and the ugly

Well after being told yesterday that I would only see the doc regarding my blood sugar levels I was surprised when she told me I'd be getting an U/S to check for viability.It took her SO long to find my uterus! She said it's majorly tipped. She was finally was able to locate it, and lo and behold there was baby! She said the heart just started beating, but I got to see it! I measured exactly 6 weeks 2 days!The bad...I have to start on insulin now. She said more than likely I'll always be on it, and I am officially diabetic. That was kind of a shock. I'm only on a very low dose right now, but she said she'll increase it every 2 days until I get to my target level. She said she wants my fasting to be below 100 and my after meal to be under 120.I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this doc. She didn't rush and answered all my questions and even gave me her personal cell phone number and told me she EXPECTED me to call her this weekend to let her know what was going on.Anyway, what a relief. Of course I'm still worried, but all in all a great appointment.

6 weeks today

I'm 6 weeks today, and morning sickness has hit me like a mack truck. Actually it's been all day sickness. Smells are getting me big time. I had to wash the dog or else I was going to hurl. So far no hurling, just terrible nausea. The thought of eating makes me queasy.
I'm not complaining, I just don't feel well. Needless to say the kids are going to bed early tonight.

A new week

Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks. The anxiety isn't getting any better, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's out of my control. That's where I struggle the most. I'll feel better in a few weeks once I actually start LOOKING pregnant instead of just fat!
We told Jeff's family yesterday. They seemed excited, which is good. It's funny how you feel like you have to justify a pregnancy. It shouldn't be that way. I am excited, planned or not planned. I love this little life.
The boys in the house think the baby is a boy.
The girls in the house think it's a girl.
I hope it's a girl, but will be happy with either, but I'd be really happy with a girl. It would balance things out.
I'm still feeling okay, not too much morning sickness. I'm hoping that's good, but being as paranoid as I am I'm worried it's a bad sign. Silly me.

Wordle

Consumed

For those who have never experienced a miscarriage or had difficulty conceiving, this might be difficult for you to comprehend. I am consumed with worry over this pregnancy. There are so many things that could go wrong. Just wondering if there is a heartbeat, if the baby is growing like it should, if the baby is in the right place, could it be a molar pregnancy, a blighted ovum, ectopic? All these things race through my mind. Life is so fragile! What if I forgot to take my prenatal vitamin? Is my progesterone level okay? Are my numbers doubling?

Needless to say I'm a wreck. Just the unknown makes it so difficult to function. I just want to know that everything is okay, for now. But then there is another side of me that doesn't want to know, that wants to enjoy this pregnancy and doesn't want to know if something is wrong.

I remember with my last miscarriage, finding out more than 2 weeks before my miscarriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing, and those 2 weeks of hell waiting for the inevitable. Needless to say those were the hardest two weeks of my life. I remember talking to my little one telling it that it was okay to let go.
In a way, if something is wrong not knowing until it happens makes it easier, but at the same time, not knowing is enough to drive a person insane.
It's going to be a long 9 months (hopefully).

Confessional open!

This blog is being created to chronicle the pregnancy and birth of our newest addition. This is my first attempt at blogging, so please be patient with me!

A little about myself and my family:
I am Mary, age 35, wife to Jeff, age 36, mom to Ben, age 10, Megan, age 8, and Matthew, age 5.
I live at Fort Campbell Kentucky. My husband is a seargent first class in the active duty Army with 4 more years until retirement. He is scheduled to deploy sometime in October or November and return in December 2009. I'm originally from New York but grew up for many years in Southern Virginia. I am currently attending University of Phoenix and will receive my Bachelor's in Psychology in early 2010.

A little about this pregnancy:
I was shocked to say the least. After a miscarriage in 2007 we pretty much knew we wouldn't be having any more kids, although we didn't do anything about it. Mainly our decision was based upon the fact that we've faced fertility issues our whole marriage. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in 2007, along with prediabetes and hypothyroidism. That combination makes it pretty likely we would NOT get pregnant. So I had resolved myself to that, and settled in to get through adolescence.
With that being said, this child is NOT a mistake. Even though we were not trying, I always had it in the back of my head that it was a possibility. But that possibility seemed so slim that I really didn't think much about it.
I found out on a Monday night. I took a test because I had been extremely emotional that weekend, which if you know me isn't all that uncommon but it seemed odd nonetheless. Monday night's test was questionable. A line came up but it was so faint I was wondering if it was an evaporation line. For those who don't know that is a line that comes up on a home pregnancy test as a result of evaporation. I showed Jeff anyway and told him that perhaps he should change his R&R (Rest and Relaxation, the 2 weeks a soldier gets off during a deployment)to April. The look on Jeff's face was one of shock. I told him I wasn't 100% sure because the test was very iffy. He told me that he wasn't going to say anything until I knew for sure. That night I took another test and the result looked even lighter than the first, so I went to bed thinking it was an evaporation line. I dreampt the whole night about getting that BFP (Big Fat Positive).
The next morning I woke up around 5 am and tested. This time I set it on my bedside table and forced myself to go back to sleep. Talk about willpower! I got up at 7 am and looked over, and lo and behold was a faint pink line staring back at me. It wasn't bright, but it was definitely there!
OMG was my first thought! Second, was What have I done! Then the excitement started, and then the fear. You see just the thought of pregnancy means the thought of miscarriage, or something going wrong. Once you've been through something like that it changes you forever.
My next step was to go to my clinic to have it confirmed, or so I thought. It seems they take your word on it now, so I was sent off to OB to set my "OB orientation" class. It's this silly little class they make you take before you see the doctor. They talk about nutrition, spousal abuse, what to expect, etc. So I go and set my appointment (it's on the 28th) and tell them I need thyroid tests done ASAP. My last miscarriage was due to my thyroid level. They tell me they can't do it until I do the class. I didn't even make it to the class last time before I miscarried. They tell me to go back to the clinic. So I go back to the clinic and she tells me they can't do it unless I talk to a doctor. UGH! So finally she puts the bloodwork in and I go back to the hospital to have it drawn and then back to the clinic to have the doctor tell me the results. Are you following me on this one? Bottom line my thyroid levels were fine, but my beta HCG (pregnancy hormone) was low. I was pregnant, but not by much. MAN this is how my last miscarriage went. She told me to come back in 3 days for a repeat level. It's supposed to double every two days.
I go back on Friday and have my levels drawn and then back to the clinic to get the results. They won't just tell you, no, you have to wait for the "advice nurse" to tell you what they are. By my calculations anything above 50 would have been safe. My levels were 142!!
So now I just wait to take my class and get my first appointment scheduled, which is normally at 12 weeks. I'm scared and anxious something will go wrong, but I have faith and will cherish this little life for as long as I am able to carry it.
I'll post more later, but for now I'll close!